Christian Domestic Discipline
I'd like to thank alert "Maybe I'm Amazed" reader Bobby B. for bringing this important issue to my attention. It's all becoming clear to me. I've wondered what exactly went wrong in my first marriage, and perhaps I now have the answer. Clearly, there was not enough spanking.
"What? Not enough spanking? Of your wife? Are you crazy?" Oh, I hear you. But clearly you are not aware of the fantastic benefits of Christian Domestic Discipline, or CDD.
Yes, I had clearly gone astray in my past as this Web site points out. I failed to practice CDD, so of course my marriage was doomed to fail. Men, let me talk to you alone for a moment: Once you read about CDD, I'm sure you'll recognize there's no more need for wimpy marriage counselors, just start spanking your wife to show her who's boss. She'll fall in line quickly.
OK, you gals can join back in.
It's true! According to the CDD Web site, here's what it's all about!
"A domestic discipline marriage is one in which one partner in the marriage is given authority over the other and has the means to back the authority, usually by spanking."
That's right, spanking. Good, old-fashioned, spanking. Here's more from the site:
"A Christian Domestic Discipline marriage is one that is set up according to Biblical standards; that is, the husband is the authority in the household. The wife is submissive to her husband ... . He has the authority to spank his wife for punishment. CDD is so much more than just spanking. It is the husband loving the wife enough to guide and teach her, and the wife loving the husband enough to follow his leadership. A Christian marriage embodies true romance and a Christian man a true hero."
See? I could have been a hero. Maybe the greatest American hero!
Wow, what a lost opportunity. But the CDD site provides much more than just giving you an excuse to, as Akon says, smack that!
Seriously, the site has a store that offers things such as crotchless pantaloons. I am not making this up. See for yourself!
And if you "smack that" a bit too hard or too often, you might have to purchase some Herbal Expressions Arnica Oil can be massaged into sore or bruised areas of the body two to three times a day.
Yes, every rose has it's thorn. And there are some issues with CDD. Just listen to Amy's tale from the CDD guestbook:
"My husband has been spanking me for sometime now, and although I definately don't enjoy the feeling of it, I do see a positive outcome. The pain from his slapping my buttocks combined with the humiliation of having my bottom naked (and to be spanked itlself is pretty embarassing, even the positioning), keeps me from doing anything unchristian. I'm pretty sure it's legal, because I agreed to it at the begining of our relationship, although I do struggle when he's spanking me. I do have one problem though, which is when he uses a belt (since the position keeps my legs apart) it can curve inward and slap my anus."
So fellas, DO be careful with those belts! And I think the results will speak for themselves. Just listen to Brenda, who had this to say on the guestbook:
"I want to be more submissive in order to improve my marriage, and this site debunks a lot of garbage you find in the mainstream media. My marriage has sufferered [sic] because of feminist beliefs."
Amen Sister Brenda! First you let women vote, then take jobs outside of the home, and now look where we are.
Barefoot, pregnant, and plenty of spankings, I say!!
But I could go on and on about CDD. I really should just stop and let you soak it all in now.
And if any other alert readers have fascinating—and possibly relationship-saving—items to share, please contact me! Spank you very much!
posted by Tim W. Jackson | 9:12 AM
36 Comments:
I'd write *rolling my eyes* but I might get spanked when I get home.
The way you wrote this made me laugh. Very funny. On a serious note, I am a wife and firmly believe in CDD. Men are the head of their home so they must answer to God. We as wife need to help our husbands and do everything or them and our children so that we will do right by the Lord. It is something we Christian's take seriously so even tough your writing was entertaining truth be said this is how the household should be lead. It is not saying abuse your wife but if you feel your wife is not obeying your athority you have the right to spank her so that she understands what is expected of her.
These husbands love and commit to there wifes 100% and they have amazing marriages full of respect. May God bless you.
12u's response scares me. I have seen spanking between a parent and a child go very badly. What is to stop these committed husbands from getting a little heavy handed?
Do not base your opinions on one other's opinion. Enter domestic discipline into a search engine...especially bolgsites like www.Livejournal.com. There are non chirsistians who practice this. There is a a difference between a good kinky fun spanking from your husband and one for punishment.
I'm a heavier set woman and my husband has already broken six wooden spoons on my bottom! He is making a very large paddle to fit my unfortunately larger backside :(
At first I thought this was hilarious - all those pious Christians getting off on kink. But then I researched it a bit more and was horrified to discover that they don't believe the wife has to consent to it because they believe the Bible gives the husband the right to do what he wants.
This turns it into abuse. A lot of these women end up suffering from poor self-esteem and depression with marriages based on fear - just like any other abusive relationship. It's revolting.
I say to each there own. If the wiafe is all for it and they are happy doing it then I say go for it. Here is a site I found about it http://ddchristianmarriage.com.
I'm going looking for a partner to give me much needed spankings because my husband refuses to do it.
12u I would love to slap some sense to you and other women who like to play doormat. men are not gods and us women are not children that need to be spanked.
These husbands love and commit to there wifes 100% and they have amazing marriages full of respect.
My husband also has love and commitment for me, our marriage, and children, and he does not need to lay a hand on me to make sure he receives the same in exchange. CDD is nothing but pure, old fashion domestic violence sugar coated. makes me sick.
I'm a Christian and ashamed of the sick and perverted message of CDD proponents. This has NOTHING to do with Christianity. Jesus did everything to affirm women and treated them with the utmost respect.
This business of men lording it over women was not God's recipe for a healthy relationship: rather, He described this to Adam as a consequence of sin entering the world: the strong exploiting the weak. It's a gross misinterpretation of Scripture and has caused endless misery for the women in this world.
Jesus came to set all of us free from the Curse of this sinful nature, and "in Christ there is neither male nor female".
If these sick people were only harming themselves, it might not be so bad. But I just recently came from a hospital Psychiatric ward,visiting a young woman who was subjected to this perversion by her stepfather, and now has completely lost her mind. Her mother was no doubt a victim too.
Sick beyond belief... and a crime in our country!! Hope something can be done to stop this perverted, but apparently very addictive and increasingly violent
misrepresentation of Christianity to an unsuspecting public, before more victims are lured into this lifestyle.
PS Have you ever seen the women involved in this? Zombies, sadly...
ruled over by petulant, immature, and self-centered mini-Hitler males, instead being embraced by a loving God.
THAT'S NOT CHRISTIANITY!
To "CHRISTIAN WOMAN" - I do not practice CDD, but I find it interesting, let me start with that.
What you are talking about, in this psychiatric ward, is not "CDD".
From everything I can gather, this requires very mature partners and very mature Christians.
Wives submit to your husbands, and Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church. - This is God's word, and it certainly does not mean that the wife is to be subservient to the husband, or some second class citizen.
In a relationship where the husband is truly the head of the house - as it was meant to be - and is the spiritual protector of his wife and his children, the one who goes before God in all things for the sake of his family, the partners... a true "two become one" relationship, can certainly decide that this is right for them.
The staggering responsibility that the husband takes on in this role is matched by the courage of the wife to submit to his authority. All of the sites claiming to be following this apparently ancient practice say the instances when CDD is appropriate are:
Disobedience
Disrespect
Dishonesty
Dangerous or Damaging behaviour
* is a non-Christian or is not committed to following Christ
* has an alcohol, drug, or other destructive addiction
* has an uncontrolled or explosive temper
* has a history of physical abuse
A Christian Domestic Discipline marriage should be approached with extreme caution if the wife:
* has a history of physical abuse or unreasonable fear of spanking
* has a psychological illness
* has a physical condition that precludes physical discipline
All of that, to me, sounds like well reasoned criteria.
Now, all of this being said, this STILL weirds me out. I am a Christian, I believe that Bible is the living word of God...
BUT don't go saying this is some perversion because you deal with actual cases of Domestic Violence or some kind of sick psychological abuse and control thing...
There are MANY things that we consent to that when the time comes, we want to back out of... if a woman KNOWS that she is strong willed, and genuinely WANTS to be corrected for doing wrong, I see no problem with this... in fact, I admire any couple strong enough to do this.
You wrote: "This business of men lording it over women was not God's recipe for a healthy relationship:"
Does this mean that you do not believe that it is God's plan, intention, will, etc for the Man to be the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the Church?
If you think that Jesus making men and women equal looks ANYTHING like the mess we have today - and I say this with the utmost love and sincerity - check out a different Church or Bible study group... by this I mean, SPECIFICALLY how you think Ephesians 5:22-33 is meant to be "interpreted". So many just omit "tough" things like this from the Bible so that no one gets their feelings hurt. THIS is what is "not Christian". Followers of Christ are the followers of the Word Made Flesh... to ignore the Bible is to ignore Christ.
It took my wife I and MONTHS to even begin to wrap our heads around Ephesians 5:22-33. Years later, we still have a LONG way to go toward LIVING it... *we* are certainly not ready for CDD... quite possibly it is not for us.
But to say that this is "Not Christian" is dishonest and to portray all women involved in this as Zombies is offensive and demeaning to those that go into such a thing willingly.
Anyway, my prayers go out to you in those victims of abuse that you come in to contact with... both for you in support of your work with them, and for what they are going through.
Sol - you do realize you just suggested violently "slapping" sense into someone for allowing their Husband to consensually spank them?
Why are you so upset that someone's relationship has been strengthened by this?
It is great that you and your husband have a relationship of love and commitment!! Why so much anger? How can this possibly be old fashioned domestic abuse when not only is it consented to, but by those who swear by it?
Your entire premise is mind boggling, and your post defeats itself in the first sentence. You sound like someone who believes THEY can meet out justice, but NO one will tell YOU what to do.... =)
A couple of points:
Bible nowhere suggests spanking, The lord never spanked his disciples or the pharisees. Violence is not his way of correcting
2. This is very islamic style and am surprised how christians are falling for it.
3. If you know what is spoiling your relationship, then have the guts to change yourself instead of expecting to be spanked for your mistakes. Spanking by your husband will still not grant you forgiveness for your sin nor will it mean repentance of any kind
Hence, whether you get spanked or not, you still need to seek repentance the same way as the Bible prescribes.
Man, Anyone who truely belive in God and do something like spanking onother to teach moral values does not understand the Word of Jesus, that was Killed, think about it, to be Punished because he disagree of the Pharisees.
Well I like To be Spanked, because I practice S&M not because i think that someone better than me can distinguish Right from Wrong. God speaks through me, my Bloody Heart, that is Holly.
The monotheistic tradition, has made a mistake... the intelective-active principle, is feminine this is the Guider of Creation. Inteligence is feminine. The masculine principle is strength, much more material, less ether.
The masculine principle is strength, much more material, less etheric, hierarchically below. As a being made by image of God we are Uno, so, each one have both principles...
Hi. I have to say that when I first read about this "CDD" stuff, I was so grieved - I actually began to cry for these women that are enduring this type of abuse.
Can somebody PLEASE tell me where (what kind of church) I can meet a man who believes in CDD? I am at a complete loss, but know this would really work for me. Thanks in advance....
can someone quote scripture where it says a husband can spank his wife please ?
My concern is that scripture clearly offers us remedies for our sin:
- the Blood of Christ, that cleanses us
- the Word of God that transforms us
- relationship with God, the Potter, who shapes us
- focus on God, beholding Him we are changed
- walking in the Spirit to avoid misdeeds of the flesh
- God's enablement (grace) that comes through faith & the gift of righteousness (Rom 5:17; Rom 3:22)
God holds each of us reponsible for our own maturity. DD takes away the wife's role & gives to her husband and it takes away God's role and gives it to the husband. Of course it would be appealing to women who don't want to take responsibility for changing or maturing. Anyone frustrated with themselves would like someone else to fix them even if it seems painful. But the problem is that it puts the husband in the position God has allocated for Himself. That is idolatry.
Another concern I have is this: the use of DD is likened to the use of spanking by parents in training their children.
However, done properly, this method of discipline becomes increasingly rare as children grow older, mature and develop internal controls. The internal controls gradually replace a lot of the external restraints set up by their parents (enforced by spanking).
But in DD relationships the spouse seems to resort increasingly to external controls & consequences (spanking) to fix bad behaviours and less and less on self-control. It seems to lead to increasing dependence on a person who isn't God to fix the bad behaviours. Also the spankings seem to need to grow in severity as the disciplined spouse develops a kind of immunity to it. This I the exact opposite of the maturing process God designed in the scripture.
Even submitting to one's husband is to be done as unto the Lord. If it is done to avoid a spanking and the wife becomes spanking-dependent in order to live right. That is wrong. John 15 describes a life of dependency on God. It may seem like harder work to grow in God's ways through His methods but the end result I that He gets all the glory for the changes in our lives and we learn to depend on Him. Then our submission (or any other good thing) is an act of worship that pleases God. Reliance on spankings to cure us of bad behaviour is enslavement. Jesus came to set us free!
my two cents
1. The Bible does have verses about using the rod for discipline (but pertaining mostly to children)
2. Show the other cheek as well
So there you have it, just extrapolate it to the 21st century and you have God sanctioned spanking on the behind.
:)
my two cents
1. The Bible does have verses about using the rod for correction/discipline (though for children)
2. Show the other cheek
So all wives get ready for some spanking on the behind..
:)
I'd love to spank my wife but it does not switch her on so end of story. If it is not erotic then it is pointless. Punishment would be a pretty miserable existence for her which would probably kill our love.
i cried too. So disturbing. i am a grown woman not a child and will always be equal in relationships. IT just breaks my heart
This has noting whatever to do with Christianity, or the teachings of Jesus.
These are damaged people acting out their pathologies thru the prism of fundamentalist 'Christianity'.
'Christian Domestic Discipline' is no different than 'Christian Domestic Child Porn". An oxymoron. Non-existent in the reality of Christian practice. And sick.
To anyone looking for scriptural backing for cdd there is none. I repeat there is none. Using any passage of scripture and saying a husband can hit his wife is an abuse of Gods word a and shows a lack of Love for God and ones wife
Wow really women need spankings now. Read the bible people, dont twist the bible !! "No spot or blemish" there ære tons of scripture that tells men how to love their wives and this is not how!
Oh good Lord. People, understand you are allowed as a "consenting," adult to live your life and marriage as you will. Judge not lest ye be judged. In the end all the decisions you decide are between you and God or any other deity you choose to worship or otherwise.
If a couple decides to practice DD, whether it be CDD or just DD, either way, it is done by consent. If not, then yes, you could call this domestic violence.
Why do you get so angry at what other people do? Because Christ's name is on it? If you believe than that's between you and Good. If you don't...Why are you here? I'm spanked if I'm a bratty jerk. Thank GOD. I used to fight and hurt and say and hear things that killed my soul. Now I'm paddled and it's OVER! It's great for me and my husband and I'm a follower of Christ! I don't think it's biblical, but its not unbiblical! Sour cream isn't either, but I don't see people trippin about that! Read your word where it's clearly states to not be judgemental. Or how about where Jesus gets angry and tells the Pharisees that their "rules" are I'm the way of their relationship with God.
Please, stop hurting people for what works for them. I see no Christians here, only pompous judgemental stuffy idiots who Neff to talk to God, not forums. Leave of you don't like the topic.
We live a DD life and we have our own website www.domesticdisciplineuk.ning.com
I take for one take my hat of for these People. Maybe its not an accual biblical Law, but it sure is a Its for sure a psykological genius..Go chekk out there homepage and links, and see what the invoved say about it. Its the end of figting, the women feel free liberated, and find Peace from it. And whats whit the "Abuse" statement? Spanking is not abuse.- Silly.. At least not if it is done hit the intention of love, and they both are consenting adults. If the woman Wold feel abused of course, but that does not seem to be the issue. maybe thats Your problem? There are numbers of cruel mean Things men do to women today, that i sure Call abuse (using them and dump them, not taking responibillity, and so on.. These People found a way to live a happy marrige.. God bless them..
it's called trust. Has my husband spanked me very hard? Yes but I consent and I don't believe that God gave him permission to spank me but I do believe he has authority.
Thank you, funny how 50 shades is so popular even with Christian women because it's giving them something they are missing. My hubby is so gentle except when he has to discipline me. Hes loving and now we don't fight, and we are happier. we've tried without it and it tore us apart. I'm so madly in love with him it's unreal that life can be this way.
I completely agree with you! I submit to my husband's leadership, and his decision to discipline me if he thinks I need it. It isn't for everyone...and that's okay! :) Personally, it helps me overcome things that I also want to change in myself. It has made our marriage and home life much better, as well.
JOIN DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE WORLD
http://www.worldwideddnetwork.com
AND MUCH MORE! A website for singles and couples
The women are masochists and self harmers. The men are sadistic. No sane person wishes to be bruised purple and no loving man beats a woman until she is bruised and welted.
One woman reported her leg losing feeling after a session with her husband weilding a strap on her backside. He probably hit the sciatic nerve and could cripple her for life.
This isn't Christian in any way.
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