I'd like to thank alert "Maybe I'm Amazed" reader Bobby B. for bringing this important issue to my attention. It's all becoming clear to me. I've wondered what exactly went wrong in my first marriage, and perhaps I now have the answer. Clearly, there was not enough spanking.
"What? Not enough spanking? Of your wife? Are you crazy?" Oh, I hear you. But clearly you are not aware of the fantastic benefits of Christian Domestic Discipline, or CDD.
Yes, I had clearly gone astray in my past as
this Web site points out. I failed to practice CDD, so of course my marriage was doomed to fail. Men, let me talk to you alone for a moment: Once you read about CDD, I'm sure you'll recognize there's no more need for wimpy marriage counselors, just start spanking your wife to show her who's boss. She'll fall in line quickly.
OK, you gals can join back in.
It's true! According to the CDD Web site, here's what it's all about!
"A domestic discipline marriage is one in which one partner in the marriage is given authority over the other and has the means to back the authority, usually by spanking."
That's right, spanking. Good, old-fashioned, spanking. Here's more from the site:
"A Christian Domestic Discipline marriage is one that is set up according to Biblical standards; that is, the husband is the authority in the household. The wife is submissive to her husband ... . He has the authority to spank his wife for punishment. CDD is so much more than just spanking. It is the husband loving the wife enough to guide and teach her, and the wife loving the husband enough to follow his leadership. A Christian marriage embodies true romance and a Christian man a true hero."
See? I could have been a hero. Maybe the
greatest American hero!Wow, what a lost opportunity. But the CDD site provides much more than just giving you an excuse to, as Akon says,
smack that!Seriously, the site has a store that offers things such as crotchless pantaloons. I am not making this up.
See for yourself!And if you "smack that" a bit too hard or too often, you might have to purchase some
Herbal Expressions Arnica Oil can be massaged into sore or bruised areas of the body two to three times a day.Yes, every rose has it's thorn. And there are some issues with CDD. Just listen to Amy's tale from the CDD
guestbook:"My husband has been spanking me for sometime now, and although I definately don't enjoy the feeling of it, I do see a positive outcome. The pain from his slapping my buttocks combined with the humiliation of having my bottom naked (and to be spanked itlself is pretty embarassing, even the positioning), keeps me from doing anything unchristian. I'm pretty sure it's legal, because I agreed to it at the begining of our relationship, although I do struggle when he's spanking me. I do have one problem though, which is when he uses a belt (since the position keeps my legs apart) it can curve inward and slap my anus."
So fellas, DO be careful with those belts! And I think the results will speak for themselves. Just listen to Brenda, who had this to say on the guestbook:
"I want to be more submissive in order to improve my marriage, and this site debunks a lot of garbage you find in the mainstream media. My marriage has sufferered [sic] because of feminist beliefs."
Amen Sister Brenda! First you let women vote, then take jobs outside of the home, and now look where we are.
Barefoot, pregnant, and plenty of spankings, I say!!
But I could go on and on about CDD. I really should just stop and let you soak it all in now.
And if any other alert readers have fascinating—and possibly relationship-saving—items to share, please contact me! Spank you very much!
